I spent hours today thinking about this post, and something kept telling me I just needed to type it and post it. There’s a lot of things that people are told not to post on the internet, especially if your looking for a job. Most of the time I try to listen to that advice, and follow it. This is one of those things. I am an in remission PTSD and depression sufferer. I keep trying to figure out why it’s on my mind so heavily today, and the only conclusion that I can come to is that it is because I have been feeling a little blue lately. I have been attributing it to senioritis, but perhaps I am wrong. The source of my above referenced problems stems from childhood abuses, things you think that after 20 years I would be over, however I waited almost 12 years before I sought help for the problems. I always thought that I could take care of it myself, I did not need medication, or some doctor talking to me for me to get better. Then I became agoraphobic. Not a full agoraphobic, I could still walk out of the house, but only outside around my house. I did go grocery shopping, but I had to have someone on the phone with me the entire time or I would have a panic attack and have to leave. I spent a year of my life living online, and I did learn a lot of things, and made some good friends. But during that time I realized that I needed help. At the end of the year I decided I was done living in the past, I was done letting other people run my life; which is what I was doing by letting the abuses done to me ruin the life I wanted to live. That’s when I decided I was going back to college, I was going to start living the life I wanted to live. So far that’s exactly what I’ve done for the most part, there have been some bumps along the road of course. And at each of those bumps in the road I would find myself getting depressed again to some degree. I have come to another bump in the road; having to decide where to apply for jobs, what to do that is going to get me where I want to go. And I’m realizing that the bump is causing a bit of depression, but it’s good to know that I have come so far in my recovery from PTSD and depression that sometimes I know don’t even realize that I am getting a bit of depression. It gives me confidence that before long I’ll be able to come to a bump in the road and just skate right over it. And by realizing that I can begin to skate over this bump in the road, bring myself back into the light, and move right on along my road no matter what fork I decide to take!!